I'm looking for anyone that may be able to guide me toward the help I believe I need. That is to say soul retrieval in particular. My story is long and I am more than happy to tell you what I know but for now. I'd like to keep this fairly short. I've lived through severe long term abuse of every type but through that also had an incredibile journey through spirituality. Through the abuse I feel that much of the person I was has been ripped from me to the very core. Dreams, visions, healing touch and so much more seems blocked. I wonder if anyone here has gone through such things or if anyone is willing to share paths they think might help. This missing part of me is truly more than I can bear and leaves me at times feeling that there is no point for my existence.

So, I am here asking for help. I am not a stupid woman just, I think lost and separated from that which is so very important to me and me feeling whole.

Love Light and Blessings to All

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ShayC5,

I have what I call liars in my family and on my life's path, and breaking them of lies is possible, but extremely hard to do and almost not worth the price and emotional cost!

I call it instant karma mode! 

Hard to explain this as it is a feeling, not a thought!  So English lacks proper definition and depth to explain this, but I will try!  When I call or spend time with one of these, and am invoking this function of Veritas truth I give the person exactly what they say they Need!  And they regret it, but I have to follow the emotional triggers felt by my heart!  NO Easy task for a person just starting this emotional control game!

Like if they say I can talk on the phone with you for 30 seconds,  some people get offended, but I have explained in 30 seconds, that the stuff I loaned you I need back and am in an emergency situation and in a bind for it! and then when the 30 seconds is over, hang up the phone!  But the spirit has to feel right to do this!  And this sort of needs to be a person you lend a lot of stuff to!  And you need to be in a situation where you trust God for your needs, and regardless to the fact f if you will ever get a thing back from them, you need to be willing to see these things are just earthly possessions

As how can they get upset from you following their directions to the letter!  Most often this drives people away or crazy, but it helps em realize they are controlling, and unhappy when they get what they ask for!!!!  This alone is powerful, yet softening to the human condition 

Bruce, thank you so much for the emailed message the music and words are perfect. I continue to work on my ability to focus but find this helps so much.

Thank you x

You haven't lost your soul. You are a soul who has experienced this. You are, however, one of many souls who are brothers and sisters, living with hard experiences. All these souls who have responded are beautiful souls, as you are.

Accepting what has happened is your only option. But noticing how many have responded with love and compassion should give you the courage you need to accept your experience, as they have. Don't let your experience rule your belief in your better angel.

Peace, Mo

Mo and Hades, forgive me, I'm having a little trouble wrapping my mind around your words of inspiration and guidance. I wonder if you would be willing to elaborate?

Love Light and Blessings

So then if this is the case, what does one do to improve the mental abilities and by what specifically would be the poison creating the acidity and imbalances. There is no doubt as to the very long recurring bouts of depression and mood swings. These things haven't cut me off completely but there is a noticeable loss. Any help would be appreciated.;;;;Thank you for your insight Hades

It Is said that we as humans start as Desire based creatures Needing approval, and needing to be approved of and friends are those who accept our approval from!  The same goes for love, and sports and even enemies!  Some Need based people are just people who have similar dislikes, and or also what some call similar hates!

The point being, that with Nirvana, humans can convert to desired based people, who no longer need to be approved or need to approve of people!  Now the change means relationship dynamics get way different!  and a need to disconnect from emotional vampires who mostly need to approve and be approved of for their world to be right!   They will often at first get combative and act like you are wrong, and there is a feeling they try hard to cast and it is I no longer approve of anything you do!  And I will approve of each of your enemies or those I see around you, but never you, until or unless you allow me to approve of you

So these social dynamics change, and you might start to see people who will approve of anyone but you directly! And some at first will outright argue with you just because you will not share emotions with them, and emotional vampire is vampires and they thrive on emotional exchanges!   NOW to the soul retrieval issues, there are hathric and pranic Cords of attachment, with every emotional exchange!

You know that covet not they neighbors stuff is emotional attachment to something you have no right to feel anything for!

Well we get cords that cause unhealthy emotional lust!   For property, getting drunk, hunger satisfaction, need sex as a medicine! Well this is all because of the unhealthy attachments where we look to another human as an answer to our problems!  We sort of want or wanted our own Jesus to tell us what to do, and to sort of blow smoke up his tail feathers thanking him, where IMO we are supposed to find God in our heart, and listen to the still small voice there!  But humans are convinced the loud overbearing noise should be from God and it is not, it is found in the inner quiet!

People are emotionally like crabs in a bucket,  And they will police each other when one tries to escape, the others will grab him and pull him back into the low energy situation

Boys pick up females with low self esteem issues by telling them how they are no good at sex, and the female will set-out to disprove them, and this can be the motive of people who know the games played in relationships!  And what we call a good lover who gets around a lot is a emotional con man

Though there are things in this realm that I would like, there is nothing more than peace of mind that I feel that I need. My life has never been based around need because I learned from very early on that the things I believed I needed or wanted never truly happened. Have I learned through relationships with family and men, yes. But in those relationships were where parts of me were torn to pieces, shattered as I said at the bottom of a lake seeing only some of the pieces left there to be reclaimed and having to search for the rest. There is no doubt in my mind that I was gifted with the ability to heal, physically and spiritually but going forward cannot be done until I first take care of myself and find myself back on that path that had been laid out for me and from which I was the one to stray, not because of choice but because I too found that if I reamained in any given situation then I was the focus of the negativity, anger and mind-boggeling abuse protecting those around me from what would happen to them should the focus be shifted from me to them. And while its true that I may have been wrong in that it worked for a time or at least seemed to. Yes now I do feel like the frayed edges of a worn mat that so many have wiped their dirty feet upon but was that a choice or part of the learning i needed to go through to get here? In the deepest parts of me I feel that there is so much more yet for me to do but to focus, meditate, replace the broken pieces that are me is difficult blocked in part by feelings of being lower than low, unworthiness, medications that overwhelm and confuse but also allow enough pain control to have some life outside of being forever bedridden. Do I ask why me? yes I thought I had finally reached a place where I could help the way I was supposed to but that is not where i am at now. Now I'm having to focus on me, not something I am used to doing or even like doing because there's so much more for me to be doing than drowning in this mess I find myself in....Thank you all for you wise and kind words, I have not given up just still searching for me, the parts I want to remain. The past is gone and with it the people that invoked so much negativity into my then young life. THEY can't hurt me anymore but then I have to learn to stop doing the same to myself.

I read the series of like 9 Seth Speaks books
The distinguishing fact found there and other places by Seth was the people we viewed as our worst enemies and best friends! There was a change to this point of view and they swapped from friend to enemy and enemy to friend

So I offer this as a consolation! As when I was feeling as you sort of do, It was seeming as reality was melting! But focus on healing and white light and lone into where it hurts and the entire physical body like a daily full body scan for like 15 to 30 min

It is also ok to be mad long enough to release anger over the situation and feel the others were wrong, but not so cool to hold on to this too long! and to slowly release them from the anger and resentment you feel for their part, as you seem to see your part and have faced this!

But this will be like cleaning nested dolls and layers of layers and sometimes you have things healed reoccur and resurface so it is not like once faced, and never have to look back at that thing again

I jus want to say that focus on urself... I can feel Wat u went thru and ur mind lil restless rite now.. But u know past is gone and so are the ppl and so is the negativity too.. U r a very smart woman.. Try meditating every day, it
Will help u find urself... And more u will focus on u And more u will get to know urself..and sometimes it's ok to take ur anger out.. U jus need to spend some time with urself... Believe me I have been there and it's hard to focus on urself but u can do it..
Xoxo
Trixie

Logically, that is, in my mind I know that you are right. But, when a person has spent the majority or their life caring for other people in one way or another it just feels wrong to then focus on me. As if what I am doing is selfish and leave others wanting. Given the ability (since being crippled from the waist down) I would still be taking care of other people, my work though I did not consider it so was to care for people who were dying. There seem to be so many others out there that truly need help and while in my heart I know I've become one of them I keep going back to the abuse has stopped so what do I have to worry about? And then of course there still remain the "triggers" that often set me up to fall and the ongoing fear of God knows what just this almost panic and I don't know what its from, that I am failing in some way? that I have failed in many ways is true but continue to work on those but the fear is eating me up and keeping me from moving I feel frozen in place and hate that my strength is waning or feels as though it is...does any of this make sense? xoxo 

Yes it does make sense... I have been there and fear can eat u up jus alive.. There r gonna be triggers all ur life but u have to make ur triggers ur strength And not ur weakness...and believe me u r not doing anything selfish.. U can help others when u urself are content with urself.. This is the time when u have to think about urself first not about others.. U have taken care of everybody all ur life and now it's time to take care of urself.. I can feel that ur mind is lil restless and it's very hard to focus on urself but the most important thing for u rite now should be u.. Meditating always helps .. U r a very smart woman and I know u can do it.. I'm always here if u need any help..
Xoxo

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