A friend online asked for advice about working with her energy and empathy.  The following email replies resulted, which we wish to share with you.  Let us call our friend ‘Soul’.



Grounding, Shielding, Cleansing; Managing Bad Habits




Hi Soul,

Let’s get started with protecting yourself by grounding and shielding.

Grounding helps keep your energy in balance and is useful when your thoughts and emotions are flying all over the place and you are having difficulty settling down, such as when you need to go to sleep and your racing thoughts won't let you get to sleep.

Shielding helps keep your own thoughts and emotions from being confused with thoughts and emotions you may pick up from other people, so if a friend is feeling despair and you were feeling happy you can go on feeling happy while sharing and exploring your friend's despair and helping them get through it.

To ground yourself sit somewhere comfortable.  Imagine a red cord about an inch thick descending from the base of your spine into the earth below you. Let it trail out a good ways... even all the way to the Earth's core if you feel like it although 12 feet or so is good...

Pay attention to your breath, feeling it drawn in and flowing out…. Just feel your breath… maybe sigh a few times and let go of your thoughts and feelings as your attention focuses on breathing in and out… Slowly shift your attention back to the cord you dropped down into the earth and feel it pulsing with energy in time to your breath…

Imagine that as you breath in the earth is sending you good, clean, healthy energy through your grounding cord and as you breath out imagine that the earth is drawing away any stale, painful, blocked up energy so that you are feeling more relaxed, refreshed and energized... You may feel a tingling sensation around the base of your spine as your connection to the earth is awakened…

Imagine that on top of your head is a large white flower with many petals that have a slight lavender color around the edges and at their tips.  This is your crown chakra and it connects you god and your personal divinity.  This flower is like a bud at first, imaging it as a tight ball that opens up as you breath in, the petals extending outward… a beam of energy descends from the heavens and enters through the crown chakra and you feel yourself connecting to your source and creator and recognize how beautiful and perfect you already are, that you have always been with god, been a part of god and can feel yourself becoming the goddess within you that has total mastery of your life and all that you can hope to be and experience.  You may feel a tingling sensation around the top of your head as the crown chakra connection is awakened…

When you feel your crown chakra open meditate or pray, feel the goodness and love in your heart and ask for the spiritual blessings you need to feel stronger and safer and more balanced and at peace.  Ask for the things you want for your family or friends to help them feel better with themselves and their lives.  Remember the good things about yourself that you know make you special and loving and nurturing and compassionate.

Just drift in this peaceful loving divine moment for a little while until you feel the urge to get on with your day and do other things.  The energy you connect to will last awhile and should help you to feel good about whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and to care for the people you love.

While this may begin with imagination Soul, this actually works and you can get yourself focused and renewed anytime you like by grounding.  It may take awhile to learn how to do your grounding, be patient with yourself, try reading about yoga or meditation or your chakras online…

I will get the Shielding installment out to you ASAP… it’s a follow up for the grounding work and helps you to keep your energy, thoughts and emotions from being confused with what other people are feeling. 


Ciao for now, love Greg





Hi Soul,

Here is your Shielding lesson.

Empathic people need a shielding tool so that they can safely experience what people around them are feeling or thinking without being dragged along into whatever may be distressing someone else.  The shield will let through all the joy and love and happiness but screen out anything painful or upsetting so that you can work with those parts of what other’s are feeling without taking on someone else’s depression or despair and mistakenly thinking it is your own.

Honestly, I still get that sort of stuff confused with my own because I neglect to do the grounding and shielding as often as I should (at least daily but before bed and after waking up is generally enough, helps you wake up in a good mood if done before bed which helps me forget that I should do it again when I wake up).  But, when I start to feel those negative things then doing my grounding and shielding exercises lets me sort it out and I start feeling better right away…

Begin by grounding, but continue after you get to the prayer or meditation bit by doing the following….


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

Imagine a small golden-orange egg in your heart, its so tiny it might not be there at all, but as you focus on this tiny golden-orange egg that is surrounded by your heart it grows larger and larger… You can see through the transparent shell of the egg and as it grows larger it encapsulates your heart and then encapsulates your body and stops growing when it can comfortably enclose all of yourself and your aura so maybe about 3 feet away from you.  The shell is made of a very fine web of energy that is porous… it allows all the best things through so when people are happy and excited and joyful and loving you can feel all that directly and let it make you feel good too.  But the shell’s web of sparkling golden-orange energy holds out the bad feelings.  You will still be aware of the bad feelings other people may be experiencing but you will understand these are not your bad feelings and the bad feelings will not get mixed up with your feelings.  You may still feel the pain that other people feel but it will not be your pain and it won’t hurt you the way it has in the past, it will be more like a sensation, the taste of chocolate milk or a warm comforting breeze, or the sound of a sweet bird song… whatever pain other people are feeling will pass through you like a gentle breeze and you can let go of it, you will no longer allow yourself to be caught up in other people’s pain or let it overwhelm you…


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

You may have trouble sorting out which experiences go with which people, as there are so many people we can be wide open to through our empathy, but in time you may be able to start recognizing who really owns the feelings screened out by your shell.  Your own thoughts and feelings will remain your own and will become easier to work with once they are no longer confused with what other people may be feeling.  Don’t be too concerned about whose feelings you are picking up, enjoy the good feelings and know that you are safe from the bad feelings…

Remember that your transparent golden-orange egg surrounds you with strong energy from your heart and that it protects you but allows you to heal anyone you wish to help.  You can still examine anyone’s thoughts and feelings but you are no longer in danger of getting them confused with yourself and can keep your own thoughts and feelings in check instead of letting them get bent out of shape by someone else’s…

You can renew your shell whenever you are feeling distressed and it will help you sort things out so you can focus on what is really yours and let the rest go… Just do a quick grounding, skip the meditation or prayers if you like, and continue to the part where you grow your shield from your heart… Remembering your shield is present and focusing on it from time to time throughout the day will also help maintain it…


I will cover cleansing in the next lesson…





Hi Soul,

Once you have your shield working it is time to do some cleansing.  You can begin cleansing without a shield but your shield helps keep your energy from getting fouled up so you don’t need to do cleansing so often…

Begin by refreshing your shield so it is all sparkly…

Focus on your thoughts and feelings and imagine anything you feel that is uncomfortable or unpleasant as a sort of living energy inside your body or aura.  That living energy that makes you hurt or feel sad or feel lonely is something that you do not want to be a part of you.  Feel it crawl around and move about and imagine as it moves about that it grows darker and darker as the bits of your energy and thoughts and emotions that it has taken away from you are returned to you.  When it is nice and black reach into yourself and pluck it out and cast it outside your shield…


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

Don’t be concerned with whether it will live or die or go on to hurt someone else, it is a small part of a larger energy system and will return to that energy system, you are not responsible for what it does outside of yourself you only need to remove it from within yourself.  Any specific fear or anxiety or painful experience that is troubling you can be treated like this by imaging it transform from something that is hurting you to something that is separate from you and independent of you.  By taking back all of your energy you have allowed it to absorb you heal yourself, and by casting it out you free yourself from further malign influence.

These things are contagious like colds and so you will find it necessary to cleanse yourself frequently at first, but as you get better with grounding, shielding and cleansing you will be able to maintain yourself more easily and feel happier and healthier.


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

Our thoughts and emotions are actually physically addictive and so your body will push you back into a state where you experience the negative thoughts and feelings again because it is addicted to those experiences.  The addiction occurs because our thoughts and feelings change the chemicals produced by our brains and our cells become accustomed to the presence of those chemicals and begin to crave them when they are not present.  So your body will influence your thoughts and feelings to prompt you to return to having thoughts and feelings that can hurt you if you have become addicted to them.  By maintaining yourself with grounding, shielding and cleansing you will eventually break down your addictions to the old bad feelings or thoughts and it will become easier and easier to stop having the thoughts or feelings that hurt you return to you.

I will cover meditation or prayer as a means of helping to control addictive thoughts and feelings in the next lesson…


Blessed be, love Greg



Managing Bad Habits


Hi Soul,

We tend to think about painful things over and over again, things with emotions like anger and fear and loneliness attached to them seem to become almost addictive thoughts that we have trouble escaping from.  It is a bit perverse that the very thoughts that most torment us tend to be the ones we obsess over. 

The feelings that hurt us the most are the ones we keep returning to. 

The reason for this sort of mental and emotional behavior is two-fold.

Firstly these things need to be healed because they represent parts of our lives that aren’t healthy for us and anything that isn’t well within us will clamor for attention until we repress it or resolve it.

Secondly these thoughts and emotions are responsible for producing chemicals in our brains which our body becomes physically addicted to.  It is like dealing with a smoking or drinking addiction, the cells of our bodies learn to crave the chemicals produced by our bodies by our painful thoughts and emotions and so, when we feel the cells of our bodies craving those chemicals we learn to respond by thinking those painful thoughts and awakening those painful emotions in order to get our brains to produce more of the chemicals which the cells of our body learn to crave.

But we can break this addictive cycle with two methods, affirmations and interruptions.  Prayers and meditation can be forms of affirmations.


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

Working with affirmations and interrupting painful cycles of thoughts and emotions will help us to heal the things that are hurting us mentally and emotionally.

We can use prayer or meditation to help us with our affirmation and interruption work.

To prepare for affirmation work you should make a list of things about yourself and your life, family, friends, etc… that you value.  The things about yourself that are the most important ones.  Add to that list the painful things about yourself that you want to change by turning them into positive statements. 

Example: If you think you are too skinny and unattractive create an affirmation from this by saying to yourself: ‘I am an attractive wonderful person’.  If you think you are too easily stressed out then turn this into an affirmation by thinking: ‘I am calm and centered and comfortable’.


Work on your list of affirmations and then pick a few that are particularly important to you, pick two that are already at least partly true about yourself, and pick one that is something a little more challenging to work on to change; pray or meditate about these three affirmations, as you get the hang of it you can introduce more of these into your prayer or meditation work.

You will do the prayer or meditation affirmation work as part of your grounding, shielding and cleansing self maintenance work.


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

To work on your affirmations begin by quickly grounding, shielding and cleansing.

Once you are done cleansing yourself take a moment to reconnect with your breathing and the flow of energy created from Earth and Heaven that helps sustain you and heal you and make you who you are.

Create a sense of peace within yourself and fill yourself with love.

Love yourself for who you are right now, love yourself unconditionally, even love those things about yourself you may be unhappy with or which you want to change, love your family for who they are, love them unconditionally, loving everything about them, even things about them that might make you unhappy which you might hope they will change.

Note:  Unconditional love is the purest highest form of love and has tremendous healing power.  With unconditional love for ourselves and others we have the foundation for rebuilding how we think and feel about ourselves and others so that we can learn to think and feel about ourselves in healthier ways that may us stronger and happier.  With unconditional love applied to our relationships with family and friends we empower ourselves to create stronger more nurturing relationships.  You may want to spend some time thinking about what unconditional love really means to get to know this powerful concept and explore what it can do for you. 


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

You can learn more about unconditional love through meditation, or research it online or by talking to other people about it, or asking god about it in prayer.  I strongly urge you to set aside any doubts or bad feelings or anger or resentment you may have towards yourself or family or friends and embrace unconditional love as firmly as you can.

When you have created a sense of peace and love within yourself then focus on the affirmation statements you have chosen to work on.

If you prefer prayer to meditation, then simply thank god for being these good things that you describe in your affirmations.   Thank god for each of these good things three times.  Each time you thank god for one of these affirmations about yourself or your life envision how wonderful this part of you or your life is and how much it means to you to be this good person you are and to have this good life you have.  You can do more than three affirmations if you like, but three is enough to get started with.

If you would prefer meditation to prayer, simply repeat your affirmations with a feeling of gratitude toward yourself and the universe for being these good things and having these good things in your life.  Remember to repeat each affirmation three times and to envision each of these wonderful parts of yourself and your life as clearly as you can.


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

You may repeat any affirmation more than three times, but three is a good number to start with and as you get more experienced with this you can experiment with changing how many time a particular affirmation is repeated.  Also remember that you may add more affirmations as you get better at this. 

The more affirmations you use the more effective the process becomes.

Your affirmations should be considered to be like mantras and should be used at any time throughout the day when you recognize yourself getting caught up in cycles of painful thoughts or emotions.  Use your affirmations to interrupt those cycles of thoughts and feelings to replace them with positive thoughts and feelings.  Your affirmations should become so well practiced that whenever you are having a bad moment you can draw upon an affirmation that helps you to restore your sense of balance and wellbeing and which helps you to empower yourself to cope with any stressful situations you may find yourself in more successfully.


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

The more affirmations you have learned the easier it becomes to find an appropriate affirmation for whatever you are feeling or thinking or experiencing at any moment that can help you deal with something that is painful or stressful.  If no affirmation comes to mind in a situation then take time out to think about what you are feeling or experiencing and how you can create an affirmation from it.  Then use that affirmation to help you gain more confidence in yourself and appreciate your ability to grow and meet new challenges.

Once you get in the habit of interrupting painful cycles of thoughts and emotions with affirmations you will begin to break down the production of the chemicals your body is addicted to by gradually giving yourself smaller and smaller doses until eventually your addiction to painful thoughts and emotions is broken and you become addicted to loving thoughts and emotions instead.  Then your body will respond to pain and stress with strength and joy and you will be able to deal with all sorts of things in your life more easily and more successfully.


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

All of this is tough work, I know from personal experience how very difficult it is to break the habituation of negative thoughts and feelings that we become addicted to so I will offer this bit of additional advice.

Carbohydrates can play a strong role in our addictive cycles of thoughts and feelings so be careful not to binge on foods that are high sources of carbohydrates.  Choose fruits or veggies over breads or cereals or carbohydrate based snacks like pretzels or chips or french-fries.  You don’t have to try to cut out carbohydrates completely, just avoid eating a lot of these types of food at any one time.

If carbohydrate binging is part of your behaviour that has become well established then only 1 ounce or so of carbohydrates in a snack or meal is usually safe, 2 ounces may put you at risk, and more than 2 ounces may reinforce or trigger episodes of depression or cycles of painful thoughts and emotions that may lead to depression if you do not respond with your affirmations and restore yourself to a balanced state of peace, contentment and love.


Continued in next message…



Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen, Sionara… Until we meet again…


Hi Soul,

Thank you for this opportunity to share these thoughts with you, I always enjoy writing about spiritual growth and it has been a pleasure to write this for you.  I will remove references to you and add this to other articles I have written.  My articles can be found by googling my name (greg.gourdian).


Feel free to ask any questions or just to let me know how things are going, I would like to know a little more about you, but I wish to respect any concerns your parents may have about our work together if you are a minor.  I believe in treating children as adults when they have adult problems to cope with but I also want to respect your family as well as you Soul.  As you did not make it clear how old you are, my sense was that you may still be fairly young, I have been concerned, that if you are a minor, that you may need more help than I can give you and that you should perhaps seek counseling at school or through your parents if you are still seriously struggling with your depression.

I have confidence that you will learn to feel very good about yourself and your life, I know you are already a very strong person and that you will only grow stronger and better over time.  It is the ultimate joy to become the most loving, nurturing, compassionate human being we can possibly be and I believe you have already extraordinary ability within yourself to heal both yourself and those whom you love.


Blessings and Love, Greg


Continued in next message…


Hi Soul,

Agh! I ran into that bloody text limit again!

Soul I am going to finish writing to you offline and then copy and paste everything into messages... you shall probably get quite a few messages later today or tomorrow...

You really are going to be fine sweetie, and I am sure you will get more love and support from your family and friends, but you will have to gently let them know how you are feeling and what you need from them to help you through this.  They are hurting too; they may feel too burdened to respond to you with the warmth, affection and support you may feel need right now.

But that won't be the case for always, and they will always love you no matter if they sometimes fail to show it to you when you sometimes feel you need it most.

Take care for now and I will get back to you with the lessons I promised you.


TTYL, Gharveyn

aka Greg Gourdian




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