Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by L. Love on July 12, 2011 at 12:35am

Thanks Rob...fancy meeting you here honey :)  hehehe

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Permalink Reply by L. Love on July 12, 2011 at 12:36am

We could almost Nigel although I live on the west coast too :)  I often visited west Wales as a youngster...Haverfordwest, St Davids Bay....lots of places around there :) HUGS and good to meet you :)

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Permalink Reply by L. Love on July 12, 2011 at 5:31am

Oh that cool!  Right on the docks eh?  Get the ferry to there often when we travel across in the car! Sending you much love dearest :)

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Permalink Reply by L. Love on July 14, 2011 at 12:43am

Guess what put me on the path I am now on is way I was raised.  My parents were strictly religious and we were kept very close which was unusual for anyone growing up in London in the 60's.  My mother was an alcoholic and now looking back on it probably bi-polar too (although it wasn't called that in those days) and I quickly became her parent at 12 years of age.

I left at 17 to spend 11 years in a violent and abusive relationship with one blessing, my oldest son.  This was another alcoholic, and after he went from beating me to turning on my then 18month old son, I woke up from the hiding place I had resided emotionally and mentally.  We tried to leave and he followed often, threatening violence until one day he called to see our son and pinned me against the wall with a garden shears at my throat.  I was convinced at that moment my life was about to end and I truly think it would have if not for some 'intervention' from elsewhere.

I remember as he held me by the throat seeing my son toddle into the room from the corner of my eye.  I remember praying and asking for help, not so much for me but my son.  All of a sudden, I felt a sense of immense peace, that no matter what, everything was going to be ok.  I felt my lips move and heard a voice that wasn't mine ask "Is this the last thing you want your son to see you do to his mother?" I remember seeing a look of shock in his face as I could smell his vodka breath in my face.  He dropped the shears and ran out of the house.  I fell to the floor and the sense of peace left me at that moment.  I remember sobbing and I also wet myself from the fear I guess.

Now I do not presume to know who or what helped me...angels...the Goddess...but I am thankful they did and stated so once I regained some kind of composure.

I think I always knew there was so much more to the Universe...even as a child.  My mother would often say I looked liked I was from or in another world.  I remained on my own a lot, reading or playing or drawing or some such thing.

The really sad thing though was my mother.  She had abilities and after being told by her religion they were the work of the Devil * rolls eyes*, she stopped and eventually lost her gifts.  I think she lost part of her soul when that happened and never recovered.  I was determined never to go down that road and hold onto whatever magic was in my life.  Even if that was just my boys, or nature or whatever.

After that, I let go and just went where the Universe guided me and here I am.  Still here and still fighting the good fight lollol

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Permalink Reply by L. Love on July 14, 2011 at 12:06pm

Thank you Rob....for I know you understand after having read your story.  You have nothing to be sorry for dearest...and it is what it is.  I chose not to be a victim anymore and although I do bear scars, I see these as my warrior scars....hence my avatar of the warrior woman.  I think any of us that survives these things and come out to tell the tale, have grown and learned much about themselves.

As you rightly say, we could rant and go on, but it serves no purpose, this thing happened and I choose to live, fully live as best as I can and not to go down a path that can change nothing.
All we can change is our actions or even re-actions to these events in our lives.

The Universe or whatever, has chosen to see fit to keep me here a while longer and so I enjoy what I can when I can and hope I fulfill the purpose for which I am here.

The longest battle has been with the self esteem issues that someone can inflict on another in situations like this but I am working on it and think I am getting there slowly.

My goal is to look forward, not back.  I guess this purging and clearing is leaving us all space to create something new and more positive in ourselves and in our lives.  I am honoured by your friendship Rob, truly and thank you again from my heart for your words.  

Much love and hugs to you :) 

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Permalink Reply by 2svh4jyfu769x on July 16, 2011 at 9:53am

Speaking of a little late...

 

Words again...good at labeling and general descriptors, but, to adequately address the core and heart of such things...useless. I am very glad you made it through as it were. And, like RaibearT, feel your suffering, loss, and wish that such had not happened.

If I may be so bold, you say the only blessing to come out of it was your son. I would like to respectfully and gently point out that you came out of it, figuratively and literally, as well, and, a changed more aware person. That, to me as well as others I am sure, is a blessing also.

 

Thank you for sharing from your heart and soul.

 

Live love

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Permalink Reply by L. Love on July 16, 2011 at 11:59am

Thanks for your reply Stuart.  Yes you are right, I did survive and that truly is a blessing for which I am eternally grateful.  It is what lead me to the path I am now on.  

I wish none of us had to go through that which we do my dearest Stuart, but we do and we are stronger for it.  You spoke on a previous reply about re-invention.  I think we all do a bit of that honey.

Much love to you :)

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Permalink Reply by L. Love on July 25, 2011 at 2:14am

Thank you ((((((Big Hugs))))))))

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Permalink Reply by 185nd9mbznww4 on November 24, 2011 at 7:13pm

You are full of Beauty & Courage, and you are truly Blessed. I am so thankful that you are here still, to tell the story of your Natural Strength. I was raised in a strict household, but thankfully in this Life, I was not threatened physically by anyone other than myself. I am so happy that you know now the Truth of what has happened in your Life, and have chosen to Love your Blessings. My mother once had gifts, too, and has lost them in this Life. Seeing her like this, It has given me the Courage to hold my ground, hold on to what I Love most in Life, and to let go of what isn't necessary anymore....

 

I'm glad that I met you, Boudicca. Spirit has it's gentle ways of showing what matters in this Great Universe of Infinite Magic. I too was a 'misunderstood' child, & also loved reading stories of Wizards, Mythical Dragons, Aliens, etc, and had always fully believed the Unknown to be more than anyone had ever 'told' me it was...

 

Much Love & Many Hugs!

Blessed Be
Solsi

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Permalink Reply by L. Love on July 24, 2011 at 10:20am

Thank you Micha~el :)  Much appreciated dearest :)

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