Sorry to hear that you lost a friend. Are you holding up ok?
It could be their time was up, and they did what was required of them....it's harder for us to understand that part...when we still need them in our lives. But when a door closes, a window opens...there are other ways. I unfortunately don't relate to change well either. I will say that friends and relatives and neighbors that have passed seem to visit quite a bit.
Hugs Jori. I hope they visit you in spirit, and that it gives you comfort. It is much harder for those that are left behind.
I had an NDE years ago, and I feel compelled to tell you that when it's happening to them (at their proper appointed time) they understand that their friends and loved ones ARE doing what they are meant to, and that allows their release/transition to be a wonderful experience for them.
That's how they can go in peace. They know you are doing what you signed up for, and so are they <3