Tips on how to make friends on a site like this. :) - Temple Illuminatus2024-03-29T13:27:58Zhttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/forum/topics/tips-on-how-to-make-friends-on?feed=yes&xn_auth=nohow does one make new friends…tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2015-01-30:6363372:Comment:29135822015-01-30T23:10:51.924Z334kbzofxkb1ghttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/xn/detail/u_334kbzofxkb1g
<p>how does one make new friends when moving to a new community\?</p>
<p>how does one make new friends when moving to a new community\?</p> Greetings Terry!
I understand…tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-08-16:6363372:Comment:7993152011-08-16T05:14:08.404Z1s1ro5sfw5z04https://templeilluminatus.ning.com/xn/detail/u_1s1ro5sfw5z04
<p>Greetings Terry!</p>
<p>I understand what you are talking about when you say that you are uncomfortable with completely written conversations, and agree with Leila that trying your best to convey emotions as well as words is a good way to work on this.</p>
<p>As a therapist, I spend a lot of my time weighing words, responses, and potential reactions in my head while sitting with clients. Although I am also present in the moment, I am aware that in addition to the value of the simple process…</p>
<p>Greetings Terry!</p>
<p>I understand what you are talking about when you say that you are uncomfortable with completely written conversations, and agree with Leila that trying your best to convey emotions as well as words is a good way to work on this.</p>
<p>As a therapist, I spend a lot of my time weighing words, responses, and potential reactions in my head while sitting with clients. Although I am also present in the moment, I am aware that in addition to the value of the simple process of communication/sharing itself, there is also usually a goal I am trying to help clients achieve in the sessions, and while there is no "one true way" to get there, it is still important to give thought to my responses and the possible effects they may have.</p>
<p>Having learned this style of communication, and practicing it through my interactions with therapy clients, Coven members, through my volunteer work with sexual assault victims, and as a crisis team member (think talking to total strangers on the absolute worst day of their whole lives with the threat of harm to self or others imminent), I find it hard not to do the same in my private life with friends and family. It can drive them nuts too, believe me! If I had a dollar for every time someone in my personal life snapped "Don't you dare therapize ME!" I would be a very wealthy lady (LOL!). </p>
<p>My point is that we all have a communication style that we prefer that is the easiest, most likely to be clear and reciprocal. For you, writing is not so natural. For me, there is so much freedom in writing, especially on sites with people whom I often come to be very close with, revealing much of my life and experiences, thoughts and feelings. There are things I can write that I probably could never say out loud, and not having to look at someone or hear their reaction when I'm saying something that is really important to me, but also nerve-wracking to reveal can be a true blessing. </p>
<p>As a therapist, it's nice to kick back and be able to "speak" without weighing everything, and writing also gives you a chance to read it back to yourself and see how it sounds to you before it is out there forever. I would give a great deal to redo certain hurtful conversations where things were flying fast and heavy, and I said things in anger that I really didn't want echoing in that person's head forever more. I think most of us have been there :) </p>
<p>Finally, on sites like this, you choose the site because you believe that others share at least some common ground with you, maybe a part of you which you don't have anyone in your day-to-day life to share with. By putting yourself out there, you can express things and have others comment on them in a very non-threatening, low-risk environment. I have often been surprised and pleased at the acceptance I've found amongst the infinite online community.</p>
<p>Finally, I would love to talk more to you about whatever YOU'RE interested in, and am making a friend request on your profile & I'd love for you to return it ;-)</p>
<p>Peace</p> lol! :) *hugs*tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-07-01:6363372:Comment:5261042011-07-01T03:25:11.562ZLeila Ravenhttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/profile/0tggrsouvtnfn
lol! :) *hugs*
lol! :) *hugs* Sorry to hear that Terry, I t…tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-07-01:6363372:Comment:5259112011-07-01T01:16:23.028ZLeila Ravenhttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/profile/0tggrsouvtnfn
<p>Sorry to hear that Terry, I think a lot of people feel that way, that communicating online is just awkward for them. It may or may not be something you want to work on, but if you do, some of the things that helped me, as a very visual person also, was using things like smiley's - :) or even typing visual cues like *smile* or *laugh* into the words I'm typing. It is hard to convey and to 'get' a lot of the emotional tone and other key elements in communication when typing online.</p>
<p>It…</p>
<p>Sorry to hear that Terry, I think a lot of people feel that way, that communicating online is just awkward for them. It may or may not be something you want to work on, but if you do, some of the things that helped me, as a very visual person also, was using things like smiley's - :) or even typing visual cues like *smile* or *laugh* into the words I'm typing. It is hard to convey and to 'get' a lot of the emotional tone and other key elements in communication when typing online.</p>
<p>It is very different than face to face or voice conversations, and it does take getting used to, like anything, but also like anything it isn't necessarily for everyone. But you may find in time, in gets better with familiarity.</p> glad you found it helpful. :)tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-06-06:6363372:Comment:3974092011-06-06T15:59:02.981ZLeila Ravenhttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/profile/0tggrsouvtnfn
glad you found it helpful. :)
glad you found it helpful. :) Thanks for the tips. this wil…tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-06-06:6363372:Comment:3952382011-06-06T03:14:08.966Z3a5798pbk8tyqhttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/xn/detail/u_3a5798pbk8tyq
Thanks for the tips. this will help me a lot. I will certainly do my best to return any requests or hellos on my profile, although sometimes it may be a couple of days before i get back to people. ♥
Thanks for the tips. this will help me a lot. I will certainly do my best to return any requests or hellos on my profile, although sometimes it may be a couple of days before i get back to people. ♥ It's like any relationship, i…tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-05-25:6363372:Comment:3353072011-05-25T02:30:17.658ZLeila Ravenhttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/profile/0tggrsouvtnfn
<p>It's like any relationship, if you've broken some trust with someone or someones, it may take a little time to rebuild it, and with some it may not be repairable... however, the site is made up of hundreds of people, and growing all the time. If you someone upsets some people here, they definitely haven't upset -everyone- here. If they really were that much of a problem person, they would likely have been banned from the site.</p>
<p>I would say on social networks like these, it's important…</p>
<p>It's like any relationship, if you've broken some trust with someone or someones, it may take a little time to rebuild it, and with some it may not be repairable... however, the site is made up of hundreds of people, and growing all the time. If you someone upsets some people here, they definitely haven't upset -everyone- here. If they really were that much of a problem person, they would likely have been banned from the site.</p>
<p>I would say on social networks like these, it's important to realize that there are lots of opportunities connect with different people, and that if you are having problem with one or a small group of people, that one has plenty of other people with positive relationships to focus on.</p>
<p>Keep making new connections, and working on putting energy towards the friendships and connections you have that are working for you.</p>
<p>All you can do in life is your best, in terms of being authentic to yourself and others, and compassionate to yourself and others, and create connections with others who feel a connection with what it is you have to share, and how it is you share it.</p>
<p>If you do feel you did something or said something you shouldn't have, then sincere apologies are always a good idea. However if you don't feel genuine about an apology, then I believe it's best not to give one.</p>
<p>Absolutely when conflicts happen emotions are really high, and people are upset, and definitely in time when emotions cool down it becomes much easier to rebuild trust and friendships.</p>
<p> </p> Pardon the intrusion, but I h…tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-05-25:6363372:Comment:3348282011-05-25T01:03:03.899ZPhoenyxHartehttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/profile/PhoenyxHarte
<p>Pardon the intrusion, but I had a question. What would you do after making a complete fool out of yourself, but you still want to be a part of an online community? Will anyone trust you aymore after such a bad blowup? Or talk to you? Maybe keeping quiet for a while, I don't know. What suggestions would you offer to someone in such a predicament?</p>
<p>Sometimes a person feels that when no one responds to them, it means they're not wanted here, or they should take the silence as an obvious…</p>
<p>Pardon the intrusion, but I had a question. What would you do after making a complete fool out of yourself, but you still want to be a part of an online community? Will anyone trust you aymore after such a bad blowup? Or talk to you? Maybe keeping quiet for a while, I don't know. What suggestions would you offer to someone in such a predicament?</p>
<p>Sometimes a person feels that when no one responds to them, it means they're not wanted here, or they should take the silence as an obvious hint to get lost. Of course, that may not be the reason why, but for a very sensitive, shy person (like myself), they may take it personally. How do you reassure someone after they've made a huge blunder they're still appreciated? This goes for anyone. I know people who feel their only social outlet is online, because they're so painfully shy to meet anyone publicly.</p>
<p>I rather felt as if the online communities I participated in became a sort of 'extended family', albeit a rather motley family, but people you enjoy interacting with for the most part. There may be some family members you don't care to associate with, but others that you do enjoy chatting with on a regular basis. And when someone you care about goes quiet for some time, it's something to look into. Just my thoughts, anyway.</p> i've certainly learned to jus…tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-05-24:6363372:Comment:3315102011-05-24T13:30:05.563Z185nd9mbznww4https://templeilluminatus.ning.com/xn/detail/u_185nd9mbznww4
<p><strong>i've certainly learned to just expect the unexpected. keep an open mind because there's always something to learn from someone. in life, you will always owe something to someone, as someone will always owe you something. we are all connected whether we want to be or not. what we do with the connection is the individual part.</strong></p>
<p><strong>and because i really haven't the slightest clue who you all really are and what you're all about, i continue to read, and i continue to…</strong></p>
<p><strong>i've certainly learned to just expect the unexpected. keep an open mind because there's always something to learn from someone. in life, you will always owe something to someone, as someone will always owe you something. we are all connected whether we want to be or not. what we do with the connection is the individual part.</strong></p>
<p><strong>and because i really haven't the slightest clue who you all really are and what you're all about, i continue to read, and i continue to watch. i'm mostly silent, but when i'm passionate about something i am sure that i will show it.</strong></p>
<p>some people are far too sure of themselves and must 'swallow their pride' so to speak, and admit to the fact that they will never know everything there is to know. everyone is here for a reason, so embrace it! i embrace others as well, i get joy from knowing others are learning things just like i am.</p>
<p>i never look down on someone for not knowing as much as i do about something, and i like to share my wisdom. just as i'd hope the same for anyone who has more than i....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>life is woven like a web. so many directions, so many connections, so many paths, so many choices, so many people like you, so many so different from you. there are those close in space, time, age, destinies, and then there's those so very far from you. LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT. like i said, embrace it! it will go alot smoother that way....</p> sigh... it is true...we are q…tag:templeilluminatus.ning.com,2011-05-16:6363372:Comment:2875632011-05-16T18:54:28.273Z0uyktmh8k79uahttps://templeilluminatus.ning.com/xn/detail/u_0uyktmh8k79ua
sigh... it is true...we are quite emotionally complex, one day upbeat and the next day the crabby mumbles... LoL... definately not boring either way I would say...
sigh... it is true...we are quite emotionally complex, one day upbeat and the next day the crabby mumbles... LoL... definately not boring either way I would say...