In fact, unless you have the compassion, empathy, heart and mind of a saint, as the site grows I can pretty much guarantee it.
There will be those people here. Those people you try so desperately to avoid. Those people that grate on your nerves. Those people that believe in *that* stuff, you know, maybe it's the scary stuff, or maybe it's fluffy bunny stuff. Maybe it's not what they believe, but how they shove it down your throat. Or so it seems. Or maybe it's that they just seem to know it all, and they're SO wrong. You know THOSE people.
Well guess what, we're all one of those people. All of us come off the wrong way to someone sometime. Yeah, we might whine in our heads, but we know better. I'm really a NICE person, a SMART person, a RIGHT person. My intentions are all in the right place. Well guess what, we're all one of those people too.
There will be people here that will use words you don't like, and find offensive.
There will be people here that have beliefs and practices, that you find disturbing, upsetting, or maybe silly, stupid, or trivial. All of us, will have SOME negative assumptions about someone on this site.
Bottom line, we are all who we are.
If we want the freedom to be ourselves, we must extend that freedom to others.
If we want to be respected for our own choices, faiths, ideas, beliefs, we have to extend it to others.
What then to do with those individuals that rub many people the wrong way? Who are more extreme on the edge of a more out there belief, or method of expressing themselves that they disrupt a lot of people a lot of the time. I'm not sure honestly how I will deal with individuals that may really push this sites members buttons.
My first line of approach is trying to work toward an inclusive solution. Bring resolution and positive change without excluding someone. I would like to make removing someone from this site a really last resort.
There are people who thrive on conflict, and conflict is also often a positive part of people who are going through periods of growth and change. Overcoming conflicts. Learning how to resolve conflict. As well as learning how to communicate with others effectively and to co-operate with others, is one of the most meaningful things we can do actually in terms of our self growth and development.
You can use conflict with others on this site as catalysts for positive growth and change, for yourself, and for others. You can choose to try to change what you can change, not that other person, but yourself. You can choose to try to expand your empathy and compassion. You can make an effort to try harder to understand why that other person is who they are, believes what they believe, and feels how they feel, or expresses themselves how they do. All of us have baggage, history, triggers, brainwashing, etc, to overcome. All of us. We are all the walking wounded. If you want a less judgemental more compassionate world. WE have to co-create it.
We can start co-creating it here.
Defuse conflict, keep conflict to places where people who want to embrace it only can, and not impose our conflict onto others who do not want to be a part of it. Recognize trolling behaviours and people who feed on negative energy, or are addicted, literally to the adrenaline rush of the 'fight' or flight response, and just like a good fight (yup, some do, let them fight with others that like to do battle, and if your the pacifist type like me, learn to walk away). I have a tendency as a pacifist to want to repress or smooth over conflict, perhaps more than is ultimately healthy. Really, who gets to decide? and maybe what is healthy for one person isn't the same for another...
I know you're all intelligent enough to really get what I'm saying here.
Conflict will happen, be ready for it, focus not on what I can do as a site owner to fix it for you, or what the other person has to do to stop bothering you, and focus on the only change that really matters, the one you can bring with you off site and everywhere you go. Learn your own personal way of dealing with it, create strategies and plans for self for sharing spiritual space with a diverse group of people.
This place will have a lot of freedom, for many people, that may feel like a lack of 'security', that lack of security, is not coming from the site, that feeling of insecurity, is a feeling, and it comes from within you, and only you, can address it. You can avoid it, or you can understand it, and control it, rather than letting it control you.
Thanks Vlada, I appreciate that. They're definitely words that come passionately from my heart.
Hey Daniel.. lol
I thought everything was perfect in my life and on the website.. but I now realize my grave error. I'm lacking something... A big CONCH SHELL! That shell is amazing... :) I used to collect shells as a little girl. I don't have any now, but I think maybe one or two really big shells would be welcome addition back into my life.
I'm adding it to my Xmas list that my hubby is pressuring me to make. lol.
I bet that was an unexpected response, but that's where it took me! ;)
Just to chime in here, but supportive... People who do know what respect is when they see it, can become very confused.... Sort of like a behavior they have never seen before....
I do not know how many times I have been with people who wanted to know why I stopped doing something when the used a word like, never, always, and don't and were surprised that had any effect upon me.... When they finally explain that most people argue why they should be not taken seriously like when they also use the word no.... Sometimes people mean what they say and sometimes people just use the most powerful words in their vocabulary..... Hint or clue, the ones who use the absolutes across every point of explanation are bound and determined to win the discussion
Love and Light
No I am not saying you did anything wrong and was agreeing and just adding that most people do not remember what respect is and I tried to explain some things that can be respect and people do not understand it most of the time....
But I was agreeing with you for the record!!!!
Love and Light
Thanks sandy, I wrote it in many ways as a reminder to myself as well, I think it's something we all need to keep in mind when navigating the world, is that our particular personal world view is just that, and others experiences and beliefs are equally powerful and valuable for them. The more I've found I take time to check out my assumptions with and about others, the more I've come to believe that people really do their best in this world, for them, at the time, given their experiences, beliefs, context, etc.
If I come to people with that knowledge focused in mind and heart... it helps me make sense of behaviors I may normally misinterpret and view things more compassionately and less egocentrically.
It's one of our featured discussions, but I'm not sure I'd want to add any more to our main page, it's already a very busy place. This discussion is commented on and brought up a lot though so it does get a lot of view on the activity list. It would be nice if the site structure allowed us to mark some items as 'priority' so that they stayed at the top and floated there in various areas. But.. I'm not the designer, so I'm dependent on the options ning gives us. I have to win a lottery to get hire a website designer and get independent, and be able to customize all site areas, that would be a dream! :)
I'm glad you and others are finding my sentiments positive reminders as well. I truly believe if we all make a conscious effort to really embrace being a positive force of transformation on this planet, that we change the world.. simply through greater mindfulness and compassion. When we combine our will and our love.. everything naturally falls into balance from that, acting from that place, we naturally make choices that are powerful and positive. We just need to grow our trust and love in ourselves first.. and then to each other.. I believe trusting and loving ourselves naturally leads to trusting and loving others... such a simple thing, yet so challenging at the same time, to simple listen to, accept, trust, and love ourselves..
Greetz, I so, agree with you! I like diversity, it make the world exciting.....at the end of the day. It's about respecting one another thoughts and perceptions. ~moving forward~ Laugh and live
Very, VERY well said..many thanks! Janna
The way of this world is that some people like, others don't.
Whatever or whomever one is, portrays oneself as, or which spiritual path one adheres to; there will be some who dislike something you have said or written, or done, or the way you look or speak, or believe and, conversely, there will be those who do like it.
Thus it is impossible to please everyone or indeed agree with everything that is written - that is completely natural - As Above, So Below. I think that the key is never to take anything personally, and to learn to listen to the opinions of others, even if you don't agree.
In my humble opinion, one has the right to free expression, and that is why I so love this Temple.
It is a great place to learn from others - who knows it all? I have found that my personal spirituality is boosted tremendously every time I visit here in my virtual cave from home.
Leila, you are amazing and thanks for hosting this site among sites.