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Comment by jack black on May 20, 2023 at 6:04pm

Comment by Linda M. on April 3, 2023 at 6:04pm

Sirian, and you copy this to a discussion on this group, so it doesn't get lost please?

Comment by Swami. Cindy Ravenmoon PhD. on April 3, 2023 at 1:27pm

@ Sirian, thank you for explaining your point of view.

Comment by Sirian Starlight on April 2, 2023 at 6:19pm

This feels like common sense to me...lets have the conversation.

The proper way to engage in sexual activity: Follow the 5 in / 5 out rule.

1. Agree on some kind of commitment. Long term, short term, doesn't matter as long as it's mutual. This is the golden rule. Agree to expect contact in a way that you and the other party feels safe with.

2. Agree on what happens if this rule is broken for any reason. How you'd go about fixing things if unexpected developments force you to act. Sometimes this can't be arranged, it is where 99% of relationship problems and even creepy situations show up! Up to and including unexpected children, rape, violence and mutual distrust when there is a disconnection point anywhere along here.

3. Manage how you would face regret and success in equal measure. When you're making love, or you're doing something private with someone, and you're displaying weakness or they are displaying vulnerability to you. Have a common goal, and set reactions as best you can, on lines in the sand you aren't and are okay with. These take time to develop and the reason it's rule # 3 is because they can and do change, frequently. This is especially true for virgin couples. Notice a theme here? Communication, respect, planning.

4. Never ever regret something you did. I don't care if you were at fault for any type of bad or good situation, do not regret your personal actions. There is no further turn off than self doubt, how you see yourself matters. This rule is # 4 because it defines your outlook on who you are in the reflection of your partner's eyes. They have to see their importance based on how well you take care of yourself and feel confident in their attachment to you as apart of their well being. You would and are apart of doing the same for them in turn.

5. The most overlooked in every relationship, up to and including asexual, and masturbation. Self love, and self relief matters in all areas of your life, not just sexual. It's all psychological. The more stress you feel in any are of your life, will mean the more reliance you turn to for release in as clear of a way as you can get it. Don't let it control you. You are the master of your own destiny because you won't let it trap you in its acceptance for where it circumstantially places you.

To shorten this into one sentence. The proper way to engage in sex, is to put your life, needs and passion first in a way that interlock with one another to further your progress for a future you are happy living in. This is the key to a successful relationship with whatever shape your lover comes in. And if they are not ready to experience who you are, they are not a lover, but a tool to get what you crave. Knowing this will help you determine where you need to find better acceptance elsewhere. There's a soul mate out there for everyone, and it goes way deeper than the surface of what body type you possess. Be comfortable in the skin you are in, for it's only temporary. Love, that's a permanent affair across thousands of lives worth of opportunities you can engage with, for the betterment of your very soul.

Comment by Swami. Cindy Ravenmoon PhD. on April 2, 2023 at 10:33am

@ Sirian, what is the proper way?

Comment by Linda M. on April 1, 2023 at 2:12pm

Sai, and what is "the proper way?"

Comment by Swami. Cindy Ravenmoon PhD. on April 1, 2023 at 11:05am

@ LInda, yes, that's true.

Comment by Sirian Starlight on March 31, 2023 at 10:52pm

I think people are trying to push pleasure for selfish reasons in more than just perverse sexual acts. To be completely honest with you, this world is defined by policies, not people. If we had common sense people making decisions consciously to help each other mutually, we wouldn't be in this kind of twilight zone where literally anything goes. Sexuality isn't the problem, communication is. This goes deeper than the bedroom, the craziness and insanity of forgotten morality knows absolutely no bounds to achieve its objectives. I am a natural, mature man who craves intimacy just like everyone else, the proper way.

Comment by Linda M. on March 31, 2023 at 6:13pm

@Cindy, I'm right there with you.  So was Kyst when she was alive.  And what people don't understand, they want to push out of site.

Comment by Swami. Cindy Ravenmoon PhD. on March 31, 2023 at 12:01pm

@ Robert, Trans is another subject that a lot of people don't understand. So they need more compassion than they getting. I am on the Asexual spectrum, and nobody understands me either. It's not easy.

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