this is just some of the things I've learned, when both of my parents have passed.

     Have a living will.  All this means is making sure people know what you want for 'end of life medical care.'  My mom had a dnr(do not resuscitate)and in her final months of ovarian cancer, my dad could never bear to do what had to be done.  I've left strict instructions with my husband, my son and my doctor what I want.  I want a dnr.  If I can't have a meaningful life, please, let me go.

     Many different funeral options......I've always personally wanted to donate my body to a medical college. It would be my final way of giving back.  Letting someone learn.  I also want to be an organ donar, and it's stipulated on my license.  Again, you need to have people you trust know this.  they don't always look at your licence, and if you want to donate, preparations need to be made.  these are just my random thoughts.

     Cremation or burial.....the growing trend is cremation, it's cheaper.  My mom couldn't do's when we learned there are two sets of prices.  Always ask for the cheaper list, the ones for the poor people.  They don't want you to know about that.  Then just go to the bottom price.  

     Now I see there are more ways.  If you're a vet, there are death benefits.  In some states the have a burial allowance or public aid.  hey, it never hurts to look into it.  what I thought interesting is the Green burials.

      Green burials. 
A “green” burial often takes the environment into account and foregoes things like vaults, headstones, certain casket types, and embalming.

  • “Most states don't require embalming unless the body is being transported over state lines,” says Bowen. “If the body is being buried, and depending on the rules of the cemetery, states have laws regarding casket type, whether or not there is a vault, and headstones.” For more information on green burials, visit the Green Burial Council's website.
  • If you’d like a less expensive casket, you can always make, or have a friend make, the casket. According to the Funeral Rule, the funeral provider may not refuse, or charge a fee, to handle a casket you bought (or made) elsewhere.

Now for service options.  Actually, my mom wanted a memorial service and no calling hours.  she even planned her music.  it was supposed to be no casket(easier to get through)My dad put the casket there anyway....but he was, pardon the expression, a drama queen.  She was talked into calling hours, in the end, because many want and need closure, and can't make a service.  An open house type service is a viable option here.   You can have a light luncheon, tell stories....funny or otherwise.  there were many funny stories when my dad died.  

     Personally, I want nothing, no service, nothing....if anything I want a big party. I tried to do this with my dad, when he died.  death is a sister gave me the weirdest look, and of course it didn't happen.

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Comment by Linda M. on February 14, 2016 at 7:40pm

Trina, the only way to edit....I would copy/paste, and edit and post....then delete the first one.....There may be an easier way, but that's what I would do.

Comment by Carmen Elsa Irarragorri Wyland on February 11, 2016 at 3:59pm

Thanks, Linda, this is very useful to everyone. I have a niece in law whose mother failed to leave a will and the house she always told her would be hers, is not, now, because of lack of papers to say so!

Don't promise anything, put it in writing!

Comment by Linda M. on February 8, 2016 at 10:42am

I don't consider it morbid.  I call it being prepared.  You don't want your family to have to do this, and if they do.....they need to know there are cheaper ways.  Granted, not everyone is like my mom, and planned the service.

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