CAN WE BE KIND IF WE ARE NOT BEING SELF-COMPASSIONATE?

There is one simple exercise which I like to do on workshops: I ask participants to write kind wishes for themselves and others from the group. In most of the cases what usually happens is that people forget to write wishes for themselves, or they “leave them behind”, until the end of exercise and then write something quickly as possible without much thinking.

Before I started doing this exercise I thought that there are not many people how are being unkind and self-critical towards themselves. So influenced by this experience more and more I started to wonder, can we be authentically compassionate and kind if we are not being self-compassionate?

Difference between compassion and self-compassion

It is important to acknowledge that self-compassion and compassion are equally important and connected. The main difference between them is whether the object of compassion is yourself or others. Dalai Lama once said: ” Loving oneself is crucial. If we do not love ourselves, how can we love others? It seems that when some people talk of compassion, they have the notion that it entails a total disregard for one’s own interests, the equivalent of sacrificing  of one’s interests. This is not the case. In fact, genuine love should first be directed at oneself”.

How self-compassionate we are, I believe we can recognize by observing our inner self-talks, which can often be very self-critical, judgmental harsh and unkind, especially when we experience failure, make mistakes and feel vulnerable and hurt. Then the “truths” about ourselves from our heads become often unbearable. How would you treat a friend, partner, family member in difficult times they are experiencing? If your friend was hurt like you were, would you tell him/her the same words you are telling yourself inside of your own head? Or would you be more understanding and compassionate?

Quote by Kristin Neff self compassion teacher and researcher

Photo source: Self Magazine

Three elements of self-compassion

Kristin Neff self-compassion teacher and researcher identifies three elements of self-compassion: Self-kindness,Common humanity and Mindfulness.

Self-kindness means that we are ready to be kind, emphatic and gentle towards ourselves when we feel inadequate, incompetent rather than ignoring our pain and becoming self-critical. Common humanity refers to resisting the tendency to isolate ourselves when dealing with adversity and being under stress. Vulnerability, imperfection, and pain are parts of human experience, so we can practice remembering that just like everyone else in the world we have our ups and downs. Mindfulness helps us to observe and notice our own thoughts, feelings, both pleasant and unpleasant, non-judgmentally without becoming over-identified with it or absorbed by it.

At the end of this day you can try out writing a compassionate, friendly, kind: letter, poem, story, wishes to yourself. Be creative, imaginative and most importantly be self-compassionate.

http://blog.peacerevolution.net/2016/02/26/1729/

Views: 80

Comment

You need to be an initiate of Temple Illuminatus to add comments!

Join Temple Illuminatus

Have questions?

Need help? Visit our Support Group for help from our friendly Admins and members!

Have you?

Become a Member
Invited Your Friends
Made new Friends
Read/ Written a Blog
Joined/ Created a Group
Read/ Posted a Discussion
Checked out the Chat
Looked at/Posted Videos
Made a donation this month
Followed us on Twitter
Followed us on Facebook

Donations

Please consider a donation to help with our continued growth and site costs

Connect

Visit The Temple
on Facebook:

....

Blog Posts

Marduk & The Igigi

Posted by Quingu on December 5, 2019 at 1:30pm 0 Comments

The Lord Kingù Nungal (The Sun God)

Posted by Quingu on December 2, 2019 at 10:00am 0 Comments

The Serpent like Cherub

Posted by Quingu on November 28, 2019 at 9:30am 2 Comments

The Naga Saga (Sirius)/(Abgal)

Posted by Quingu on November 26, 2019 at 7:00pm 0 Comments

Ursa Major (Bear/Grand Dragons)

Posted by Quingu on November 26, 2019 at 12:30pm 0 Comments

The Beast of the Sea

Posted by Quingu on November 25, 2019 at 5:00pm 0 Comments

The Archangel Samael (Chief of Satans) IV

Posted by Quingu on November 25, 2019 at 8:30am 3 Comments

Sirian Amphibians

Posted by Quingu on November 24, 2019 at 10:30am 0 Comments

Hollywood No More (Last Incarnation)

Posted by Quingu on November 18, 2019 at 3:30pm 2 Comments

Master Guide(s)

Posted by Quingu on November 18, 2019 at 12:30pm 0 Comments

The Red Kingú Legacy (II)

Posted by Quingu on November 17, 2019 at 11:30am 0 Comments

Shadow Work.

Posted by Elspeth on November 17, 2019 at 7:27am 12 Comments

CALLING OF THE WYRD - Revised

Posted by Sky a.k.a. JD Aeon on November 15, 2019 at 6:30am 0 Comments

My Wish (Incarnations)

Posted by Quingu on November 14, 2019 at 7:00am 0 Comments

The Babylonian Gods

Posted by Quingu on November 12, 2019 at 11:22am 2 Comments

Lord Kingù Nungal (The Death Angel) VI

Posted by Quingu on November 10, 2019 at 3:12pm 0 Comments

NOVEMBER AWARENESS


 


 

 

© 2019   Created by Bryan   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service