The dark all encompassing -

Never moving, never shifting.

It permeated every cell

every breath.

She could feel the dark consume her

as flames consume dry wood.

She cried out - no sound.

She tried to move

but she was held still.

She looked at the images

flashing before her.

She recognised the faces

the things she saw

with a distant recognition.

She watched as one by one

the things she had done to hurt

things she had said to maim

Were shown her.

Silent tears fell down her cheek

as she realised

this was her doing.

All those she had hurt.

none more than herself.

Self destruction in itself

was her saviour,

her hiding place.

She saw demons and horrors

to face them head on.

In silence, alone and in the dark.

Gradually the images slowed

the pain etched on her face.

She vowed silently to make amends

To honour those memories

for they too are a part of her,

who she is.

And she vowed to make her peace.

Slowly, slowly she could see

motes of dust...

is that a glimmer of light?

When she stood there naked, bare, exposed

with all her demons faced

There was nothing else for her to do

or no place for her to go

except into the light.

Now she had lived in the dark

she could recognise the light.

Gradually the light grew stronger

until it hurt her eyes.

Yes she felt shame.

Yes she felt pain.

And yes she had faced it all.

She felt the light warm her skin

She felt it permeate her soul

Healing and soothing.

She felt the shame still

and wore it like a warrior

shows thier scars.

The hurt is there

The shame is there but

now she stands in the light

One half in shadow

one half in light.

The duality of her soul

Now complete

Now joined and now whole.

To see the light and truth

We have to face the darkness

and the fear.

We have to redress the balance and

heal the pain

of ourselves and those we hurt.

© Lorrianne Carroll