Status Update
By Christa Stoutenger
During my mere 21 years of life, you assume I know nothing of this world. I can assure that no matter what age a person is, that has no influence on the amount of intelligence or wisdom they possess. As a person who first started contemplating suicide at the age of 8, I have had an unique experience up to this point in my life. The one thing I can tell you that I know without a doubt is true is that there is nothing that can change reality. No drugs, alcohol or disillusion can change the fact that you are a human being that breathes, consumes, and decomposes. You only have one chance to live your life for all we know. After doing all I can to nearly destroy myself besides actually accomplishing my task I found out that the most foolish thing you can do is to kill YOURSELF. Only you can change the outcome of life, there isn't some omnipotent presence that can can make decisions for you with a snap of its fingers, and if there is it is only an observer of our downfall. Humans live in a state of false hope and self-medicated bliss. I chose not to destroy my brain with drugs, and instead I chose to enrich it and live to my fullest potential. All humans make silly mistakes; it's in our nature. Only through our own faults can we learn what is right and wrong. I learned by watching other people make mistakes. You could have done the same thing and ended up like me; but you chose that hard way. Eventually I hope you will listen to me but I know that no matter I what I say nobody has to listen. Why do you think I write books and create art? For my own enjoyment? I do it for YOU. I love you. I don't want to feel hatred towards others but I can't stop myself. I took myself out of my 3-year long depression by writing a book about murdering people and how I would do it. That may be sick but I cured myself, I weaned MYSELF from my medication. And now I'm following my dreams. I live for live, I desire all the love and happiness I can get. I don't dwell on my pain or make the ones I love suffer for it. All I have to give you is my love and wisdom, and the hope that you will strive for life outside your haze of disbelief. I forgive you, and if you can change I can forgive everything. ♥

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