There come times, of greater awareness of the world around us, that sometimes are so vast in scope that I feel almost on the verge of madness, or that my head or the whole world will split open with the force of it.
Moving .. thought.. into places beyond the scope of language and symbols my mind has for it, but instinctively knows are there, hidden beneath the specific illusions of the senses we create in order to experience and manifest our environments.. which are really one and the same thing, the experience and the manifestation thereof.
It's odd to write about.. It's deconstruction, and writing is a process of construction of more metaphor.. it's exploring something through it's opposite to try to decry it in words.
We are all so much more than we can ever 'know' for 'knowing' itself becomes limitation.. we have limited ourselves specifically so we can 'know' ourselves, and ironically this process also hides us from ourselves.. we simultaneously experience ourselves in infinite facets, discretely held and observed, because it is the very observation that creates them, and in order to create observation, we must create focus, and in order to create focus, we must narrow our view upon a thing, and deliberately exclude other things that are not immediately relevant to us.
The irony is to be divine infinite experiencing itself, the divine infinite must experience itself in infinite finite ways.. we only see this is 'paradox' and oppositional because we have constrained our focus.
As I explore the unseen, I realize the fragility of the seen.. that the opening of certain doors of the mind and seeing what we have hidden ourselves, will mean a necessary shift of focus from the seen world that we are constantly creating in our observation/experience/manifestation of it. As soon as I allow mind to truly go beyond that point then a necessary disillusion of the seen world happens. Reality as my current limited construct of memory and experience knows it would be blown wide open.
If one stands on the precipice.. one feels it, and even fears it, for the creation of that greater awareness becomes the destruction of our current one. The world falls away revealing itself to be as in Wonderland, just a deck of cards, a hand we have dealt ourselves, a little game we are playing.. and nothing more.
What lies beyond.. is everything, and therefore nothing.. It cannot be transcribed here, or anywhere, there is no condensing it in the focus of symbol.. there is only dissolving into the reality of it as our eternal infinite selves.