I was going to write a blog about my life. But, I've decided to do a series of blogs. This way, it won't be ten miles long.
About ten years ago, we found out that our son had been molesting our daughter. He had been doing this for some time, and we didn't have a clue. The only reason we found out, was my daughter wrote an essay in health, where she mentioned, she wished she could stop having sex with her brother.
To say our whole world collapsed, was an understatement. Obviously, my son was arrested, and so was I. I was the mom, so it was my fault. Court dates for me lasted over a year. My husband wouldn't allow me a lawyer, but the judge made sure I had one anyway. We didn't qualify for a freebie. It was unnerving to go to the precinct for pictures, fingerprinting, the whole nine yards. Plus, during all this, trying to be there for my son, and daughter.....with my husband screaming at me......by this time I was in a state of shock.
My son went to George Jr. in, well by Cortland NY. It's one of the better detention facilitates(jail for kids)What the courts and Social Services put us through, I wouldn't wish on my wort enemy. Needless to say, we all had to go through court mandated therapy.....which helped. Finding one for my daughter that wasn't a complete idiot, was another matter. You see, when you are autistic, everything is literal. For example, the therapist had her draw a life size picture of her self and color it in. My daughter colored her skin a deep pink, so when she drew the bra, she used red. When I walked in, I immediately understood this. The therapist kept telling me, it was her subconscious coloring red because of the pain. I asked her if she had instructed her to use colors for feelings, and she of course said no. I just couldn't get through to her, she was wrong. SO, I went to her boss, who agreed with me. My daughters autism saved her.
Now, what have I learned from this. Never mind that I cried daily for six months....without the support of my neighbor, I don't know what would have happened. Our family survived, we got used to it in time. Being a sexual offender is a disease, and if caught when they are young, can be cured. We were able to trace this back to my husbands, brothers, kid.....who would come to visit and shove toys up my sons butt. It took me four years to get the courage to tell my mother-in-law this. Most families split up from something like this....we managed to stay together, and get my son home. The trust came back, but it was a slow process. Before my son came home, he had to tell Kasey he was sorry....in front of us, plus his counselors. He got through it...they all left....and my beautiful forgiving daughter, saw her brother crying, and ran to him and put her arms around him and hugging him, saying, it will be alright.
Flash forward....we got through the hell, obviously there are many side stories I could tell. The biggest one is this. About a year ago, my husband admitted he had been sexually abused by one of his sisters when he was little. For a period of four years, from ages 10 - 13, whenever his sister got stoned, she came and had sex with him. He never told anyone this. He still refuses therapy........and life goes on.