The way you made me feel tore my heart in pieces.

I used to believe in love, I used to believe in friendships

Loyalty and togetherness, to be always there when you needed me.

I wanted so badly to have someone who sees me as more than I see myself

To believe in me, because I didn’t believe in myself.

I sometimes wonder if all those things you said were true?

Or did you just want to keep me around, to beat loneliness.

 

With every waking moment I sink deeper and deeper into my shadow.

Love to me has become just an illusion, a child’s game of pretend.

For lonely people looking for some hope in a dark and cold world.

Love to me has become a fairytale with a bad ending, where the princess dies.

Just like in the little mermaid where she drops in the sea the morning after his wedding.

Love is nothing more than just a second hand emotion, a physical sensation.

Here to deceive us that life is something more than just a meaningless play.

 

There was a time in the past I believed in love, even in soulmates

I believed in friendships that lasted forever, in people that knew and loved you inside and out.

What an utopian vision of life that is, it did made me feel good I admit

Thought it crumbled like a deck of cards at an open window.

True love isn’t supposed to hurt on purpose, betray and deceive.

Yet it did, over and over again. I have no more tears to cry.

I have nothing more in me to give, and I cant forgive anymore.

I have tried many times, I was always the fool in the end.

 

Every time I try my heart breaks a little bit more.

There hasn’t been anyone I loved with all of me, that hasn’t proved to me

That love only hurts, that love is an illusion.

Every time I open myself, a knife is stuck in my heart,

I can’t hurt anymore; I can’t do this anymore.

 

The walls around my heart slowly harden, the ice thickens

I don’t want it to be, I also want to have someone who cares,

The fact is there is no one who I trust enough to allow near.

Trust has been taken away from me, over and over again.

May be one day I will be able to feel it again.

But until than I will be hiding in my own personal ice palace.

Safe from hurt and safe from love.

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Comment by Lilly on Friday

as lady Tina said.. its just a second hand emotion

Comment by Kitt on February 9, 2019 at 2:28pm

You deserve none of that treatment..... this I know... 

Comment by Lilly on January 31, 2019 at 10:31am

Thanks, i am fine this is a way to express old pain that im healing from. 

Comment by SL on January 31, 2019 at 8:11am

https://genius.com/Genius-translations-bts-epiphany-english-transla...

[Verse 1]
So weird, I for sure loved you so much
Adapted to you with everything, I wanted to live my life for you
But as I keep doing that I just can't bear the storm inside my heart
The real myself inside the smiling mask, I reveal it entirely

[Chorus]
I’m the one I should love in this world
Shining me, precious soul of mine
I finally realized so I love me
Not so perfect but so beautiful
I’m the one I should love

[Verse 2]
I’m shaking and afraid but I keep going forward
I’m meeting the real you, hidden in the storm
Why did I want to hide my precious self like this?
What was I so afraid of?
Why did I hide my true self?

[Chorus]
I’m the one I should love in this world
Shining me, precious soul of mine
I finally realized so I love me
Not so perfect but so beautiful
I'm the one I should love

[Bridge]
I may be a bit blunt, I may lack some things
I may not have that shy glow around me
But this is me
My arms, my legs, my heart, my soul

[Chorus]
I wanna love in this world
Shining me, precious soul of mine
I finally realized so I love me
Not so perfect but so beautiful
I'm the one I should love

[Outro]
I’m the one I should love
I’m the one I should love

Comment by SL on January 31, 2019 at 8:08am

I hope you feel better soon Lily.  There is so much to love don't give up on love. Love self love God love Earth , Nature and Life.

Love is reckless; not reason.
Reason seeks a profit.
Love comes on strong,
consuming herself, unabashed.

Yet, in the midst of suffering,
Love proceeds like a millstone,
hard surfaced and straightforward.

Having died of self-interest,
she risks everything and asks for nothing.
Love gambles away every gift God bestows.

Without cause God gave us Being;
without cause, give it back again.


Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi

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