Your Doctors' Drugs for You
Anyone currently using any form of prescribed psychopharmeceuticals for any conditions, such as depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolarity, or psychosis may often feel ashamed or stigmatized.
If these medicines sincerely help someone cope with their problems then it is unfair for anyone to find fault with them for relying on these therapies.
A life free of drugs may not be best for all people; we may all be well advised to learn respect the difficult life choices anyone using such medications must make, choices that may too often contribute to situations where they may sometimes feel very uncomfortable or even alienated when experiencing the sometimes poor regards some people may sometimes express regarding their painful, very personal life choices.
One reason it is important to avoid any judgmental statements regarding these difficult choices is that any hurtful remark may be remembered and may be re-examined so often that the person who felt hurt by this remark comes to habituate themselves to believe these remarks are true, rather than understanding these remarks are only opinions, opinions that are never worth nearly as much as the good regard they deserve to always hold for themselves.
Alas, it becomes easy for such people to lose self-confidence when faced with casual hostility for their life choices; this can help put such people at risk in several ways.
If you are a patient relying on psychopharmeceuticals with any success please do not allow yourself to be dissuaded from using your medications by the criticism of people who cannot place themselves in your own shoes well enough to understand how you feel about your medications.
Most people who rely on such medications are ambivalent about using their medicines. Small pushes, tiny criticisms, can build up to a social pressure to conform to expectations that they should, perhaps, be drug-free.
Deciding to quit successfully managed pharmaceutical therapies may often bring many patients immediately into crises. It is rarely safe to rapidly withdraw from most of these medications without a physician's guidance.
So please, if you are a successful or even partially successful patient on a chemical regimen that seems to work for you, please do not allow yourself to feel pressured to stop using your meds or to change whatever else is working for you.
It's ok to be you however being you will work best for you.
However, please understand, that while many people are successfully treated with various psychopharmeceuticals, as so many people already feel is true for themselves, many other people have had very poor, often critically traumatic responses to their medications; for these people, the traumas they have experienced as a result of poorly or inappropriately administered therapies make them very suspicious that anyone relying on such therapies may be at risk of dangerous, frightening experiences like their own.
When people from these two camps of rugged survivors meet, both are dependent on belief systems that may sometimes come into conflict with each other's.
One group must choose to believe in the value of their therapies because believing this helps their therapies be more effective.
The other group must believe in the dangers of such therapies because they are attracted to anything which may help ease their suffering but must painfully deny themselves this sort of help because for them it seems to consistently do them more harm than good.
Both groups of patients have very personal experiences they deserve validation for, but both groups often invalidate each other, because they are afraid that their own core beliefs, beliefs essential to their well-being, may be challenged.
Together, both groups have a wealth of experience that can unite them and help each other to grow beyond whatever limits they still experience as a consequence of the successes or failures of their respective therapies.
Some may find new meds that will work for them in spite of their fears, while others may discover safe ways to withdraw from their medications under their doctor's guidance because they learn new coping skills from those who must learn to manage without any meds.
Together we can form a stronger mental health care community and support groups to help each other to heal.
<scratching Nabalone off list off options>
Ok so how do we make money to support our 'habit'?
We have a terrible time spending money, we try never to spend it, because it seems we always wind up short in a crisis.
Also we do not like buying things for ourselves, not to keen about being given gifts either, we always feel unworthy, as if there were better ways to spend the money.
We are learning differently now, learning to relax a little more about the money, but this has been one of our biggest challenges.
We are reprogramming our beliefs abut money because they are limiting beliefs and we instinctively understand now that our most limiting beliefs may all be illusions.
Spending money on people we love has begun to teach us to accept when our loved ones spend money on us, but had we not burned a credit card not worrying about the money we were spending we might have missed that valuable lesson.
Part of us views money in the bank as a waste of energy and a lack of faith. We gave away most of the remains of our 401k to homeless friends with serious medical issues after paying our ex's debts, some $10k or more...
Can't really afford the time to go back to work just for money, have to make the work we are doing pay us somehow, even though we do not believe in intellectual property rights and have been giving all our work away for free lately.
My brother and my son both have paradoxical reactions to marijuana. It makes them violent. My brother chose to become violent, my son made the choice to not use it again.
While I have indulged in small amounts over the years I am wary of trying it in larger amounts because of this family history.
I have been on 2 antidepressants. The first, one that is commonly prescribed and used around the world, gave me suicidal feelings, the second has been very effective in keeping the depression under control. Trying to drop the dose even by 10 mg (half a pill) causes the depression to come back.
I have written about my experience of post-natal depression.
That is very interesting about the violent reactions, contrary to Refer Madness this is a rare issue among Marijuana users. Most of the time these violent reactions are combination Alcohol + Marijuana mixtures. In Drug addition philosophy this is called a 1 + 1 = 3 reaction, because the combination creates something much more than what would be expected.
It is a great thing to find something that works. Another profound thought on the subject is that Medication and Meditation are spelled the same except for one letter difference. Meditation is good for your soul and your soul knows how to heal anything and everything in your body. All disease can be overcome through daily meditations. Thanks again for sharing!
May we ask, with regard to your brother or son were there any hints of a violent predisposition?
It is rare for any drug to create new behavior, it will usually only trigger episodes of new behavior if that behavior has already been acted out internally in some fashion, although often people are unaware of doing so beforehand.
Choosing not to use marijauna was sensible for your son, avoid the trigger. But avoiding such a trigger may still leave unresolved issues that something else may trigger again later.
Since the triggers for such events are typically stressful, and your son's response creates more stress, this is a potentially dangerous situation. Being able to blame the marijuana is a convenient way to avoid the underlying pre-existing conditions that almost certainly existed and that may still exist, dependng on what these causes may really have been.
It may have been sad for your brother to choose anger, anger is a disease, but also a culture. Many people worship their own anger, a form of worhsip that has become aculturated.
We may learn to make ourselves angry people from many social and cultural teachers.
We have tried to read your Journey through, Maedrona, however we are still unsure of many things we read there.
May we ask how you personally perceive the differences bewteen the natures of post partum depressions compared with other sorts of depression?
We expected to come away with a clearer understanding of this that we stll feel we lack.
Ugh, this brought up memories of me trying Welbutrin, a drug trial of an antidepressant that did NOT go well for me. I was suicidal and so depressed, and this one made me crazy angry/rageful/homicidal I hadn't felt that kind of anger as an adult before. I'd had temper tantrums as a kid, and it reminded me of that, I just was seeing red, and I wanted to be destructive. It's the first and last and only time I've wanted to hurt my pets and loved ones and it was a terrible sick feeling. Like I could potentially do fatal harm to another being out of that sickening emotion of rage.
My husband left me a wide berth as I came down off the med, we recognized it as a medication side effect right away because it started about 24-72 hours after me starting the medication, and as it came out of my system the feelings stopped. I can honestly say it was a 'horrific' experience. Thankfully the only thing harmed while confined to my bed was a favourite book which I shredded to pieces as I couldn't stop myself from destroying something... it was... nightmarish and surreal.
My brother began using drugs at a young age and while I have no memory of him being violent before starting, certainly he was violent afterwards. He was a multi-drug abuser - didn't matter what he took as long as he had a change in mood. These days his brain is so fried he can barely function as a normal human being.
My son has experimented, as people do, but figured out that he didn't like the effects it has on him, so stopped. He is very much a gentle man, very laid back. Of course, he does also carry a lot of tension and he has told me on occasion that he feels anger inside though he doesn't show it. He channels it now through fitness training and has been going to drumming circles with me.
Now, my son is diagnosed with ADD and I suspect that he also has Asperger's Syndrome. Though never diagnosed, I suspect as well from past history and my knowledge of the subject, that my brother also has Asperger's.
My thinking is that the differences in the brain due to the Asperger's Syndrome are what cause them to have paradoxical reactions.
Regards your second question. I don't know if there are differences between post-natal depression and other types of depression. Perhaps a history or a predisposition towards depression makes a woman more likely to develop it post-natally. But, I don't know.
When I was in the midst of it, I only wanted to find my way out. Not explore the reasons for it.
We are glad your son can acknowledge anger he does not understand within himself. Anger in and of itself is not bad, but the ways we can use it to hurt ourselves or others may be very unpleasant, and may sometimes become lifelong habits, which may be the case for your brother, depending on his choices.
We do not know enough about organic or biochemical properties that may be related to Aspberger's or Autism; as far as we are aware no one has a clue, really, but anyone sounding convincing can make money with their ideas, so anyone telling you there are specific organic causes may be very mistaken, that sounds a lot more like an assumption than a proven fact right now.
(There are some sharp cookies out there who may be far more capable of exploiting the guilt some parents of autistic children feel than helping their chidlren.)
As we have some processes similar to Aspberger's in ourselves, we have to wonder, is it nature, nurture, or something else?
Polarizing the issue by choosing to say it must either be nature or nurture is pointless, it may be part of each or more, or something that is neither.
People choose to polarize the issue because they can exploit the powerful emotions of people impacted by these circumstances (we won't call either autism or asperger's a disease, disorder, or affliction, those terms may be very innacurate and very prejudicial).
You seem to have matters very well in hand with all three children, in spite of incredible challenges along the way.
We would like to suggest that depression is not a bad thing, it feels very bad, it may often motivate us to harm ourselves or others, but depression may really be a healing mechanism, when worked with intelligently, compassionately, and patiently.
We do not blame you for wanting very functional, reliable relief from your depression; your life cirumstances require you to remain more highly functional for the sake of yourself and your family than you may be able to manage when seriously depressed.
If you get the feeling your depression will always be with you without meds you may be right Maedrona, if so, then you can afford to make time to learn more about what may have really caused your depression because your medicine will keep you safe while you continue to learn and to grow.
Usually, people become stronger people over time, we tend to become people with better resources emotionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually as we mature.
As we grow stronger we come to realize, often in a nonconscious awareness, that we are strong enough to heal injuries from our past that we may have forgotten or suppressed but that critically limit us today in ways we may not yet understand clearly.
We may choose to become depressed to explore these issues in depth because only in isolation from distractions can we manage the deep, painful logic ath the root whatever is really bothering us that we do not yet know how to define to ourselves.
We may need to change the deeply conditioned behavior associated with old injuries or traumas to solve problems in our life that may stem from these lost roots in order to help ourselves become happier, healthier, more loving human bengs.
In one sense, our own depression is always with us, it is then how we have learned to manage ourselves that makes the difference for us.
However, we may be unusual enough from some people's points of views that while our philosophy asks us to believe anyone can do as we have done, we may still understand many people will find our choices may be too painful, too difficult, or too frightening, so we try not to push our own solutions on anyone too fervently.
If this interests you we will be adding new articles about these topics over time, just stay tuned, and always, blessed be...
Over time, I take steps to heal myself emotionally and mentally. Most recently through a shamanic healing session combined with Reiki drumming that removed a great deal of gunk from my uterus.
Even now talking of the situation brings pain to me, though less that it was a year ago.