A day out... I don't put on clothes much these days, so when I do, it's an event. lol. In this case, I needed to go to the Dr.'s to get my CPAP machine for the sleep apnea and go to the mall drugstore... So, an occasion, to put on clothes.
I actually don't have many pics of me in my wheelchair, I guess primarily because I lost mobility relatively quickly in some respects, and by the time I talked myself into a wheelchair, going out in the chair has also become challenging. I get a lot of cramping now in my torso and abdominal muscles when I sit for long. Someone was suggesting getting a brace, but quite frankly sitting up for a long time makes me feel unwell in other ways also, that I'm not sure bracing myself up by strapping another piece of expensive equipment to me is going to be much of an improvement. Besides, I have lots of lovely fetish corsets that serve the same purpose, and if I'm going to have a support structure take the work off my supporting muscles I rather one of satin with steel boning.
I had a hard time finding pics of me in the wheelchair that I liked... not used to seeing me in it. Also, I'm uncomfortable sitting up in the chair, and in some more pain in these pics, so I think the energy of that discomfort comes through.
It also doesn't help that I've put on about 30 lbs in the last 3 months. Not sure what's going on there, as nothing has changed really with me and my routine, it's just whatever my body is doing now. It's not like I haven't been a lot fatter in the past, at my highest weight I was 295 lbs, now I'm 215.
My chair is a custom jobby, and I have a fancy headrest too because my head gets heavy, which isn't on the chair in this pic. I also have a sheepskin on it for cushioning because I get touch/pressure sensitivity at times as well, so it reduces pain and discomfort from that.
It's hard, sometimes, sharing about, processing, my limitations, my weaknesses, my disabilities... they are a part of me, but at the same time, they don't define me in the ways that often people would assume, and I get tired of the focus being on the 'unwellness'... pain, fatigue, exhaustion, loss, these and other related challenges are things I face everyday, but I cannot let them become ALL of my life, or even most of my life... not and have the life I want. The life I want is a productive life, full of love, friendships, and positive growth. The life I want is one where I can make a positive difference in the lives of people I encounter. The life I want is where the focus is not on trying to determine where the pain is, where the illness is, and what it feels like.... but where the focus is on where the love is, where the wellness is, and what THAT feels like...